So I started this blog when I found out I was pregnant and figured I would continue it after my miscarriage, but I have realized I am a boring person!! I go to work, come home and hang out with Jared, go to bed and wake up to the same thing. I know... such a life to follow!! I'm sure as things go on, maybe just maybe life will get a bit more interesting!! So until then whoever reads this will get to enjoy my dull life.
I started reading the Twilight series. I have never been into books or movies like that, but I have had so many people tell me what a great series they are. To my amazement, they are awesome. I am by no means a fast reader but I finished the 1st book in less than a week!! That might be a record for the length of book it is!! Then I finished the 2nd book in 2 weeks, and now I am on the 3rd book. I highly recommend this book to anyone!! The movie came out a week after I finished the 1st book and Jared surprised me and went out to get me breakfast and the DVD last Saturday. I thought the movie was good, but the book was just so much better!!! I do have to admit... I've watched the movie 3 times in a week. Is that bad?

Bucket List

Apparently there are some things you "must do" before you die. So I figured I would do this while Jared watches basketball.

Put an X next to activities you've completed. Leave others blank to fulfill throughout your life.

(x) Gone on a blind date
(x) Skipped school
( ) Watched someone die
(x) Been to Canada
( ) Been to Mexico
(x) Been to Florida
( ) Been to Hawaii
(x) Been on a plane
( ) Been on a helicopter
(x) Been lost - Always end up at the airport:)
(x) Gone to Washington, DC
(x) Swam in the ocean
(x) Cried yourself to sleep
( x) Played cops and robbers
(x) Recently colored with crayons
(x) Sang Karaoke
(x) Paid for a meal with coins only
( ) Been to the top of the St. Louis Arch
(x) Done something you told yourself you wouldn’t
(x) Made prank phone calls
( ) Been down Bourbon Street in New Orleans
(x) Laughed until some kind of beverage came out of your nose
(x) Caught a snowflake on your tongue
(x) Danced in the rain-naked
(x) Written a letter to Santa Claus
(x) Been kissed under the mistletoe
(x) Watched the sunrise with someone
(x) Blown bubbles
(x) Gone ice-skating
(x) Gone to the movies
( ) Been deep sea fishing
( ) Driven across the United States - Can you imagine being stuck in a car with me for that long??
( ) Been in a hot air balloon
(x) Been sky diving
( ) Gone snowmobiling
( ) Lived in more than one country
(x) Lay down outside at night and admired the stars
(x) Seen a falling star and made a wish
( ) Enjoyed the beauty of Old Faithful Geyser
( ) Seen the Statue of Liberty
(x) seen a celebrity
( ) Gone to the top of Seattle Space Needle
(x) Been on a cruise
( ) Traveled by train
(x) Traveled by motorcycle - Don't swat bees while on a bike going across rr tracks...
(x) Been horse back riding
( ) Ridden on a San Francisco CABLE CAR
(x) Been to Disneyland/world
(x) Truly believe in the power of prayer

Not too shabby, eh??

Love

I'm still trying to get used to all this blogging stuff! I keep forgetting I have a blog. Oops:) But I just have to say life is good. Although I must say I feel like an old person. I am tired and ready for bed by like 9:30 every night... could be because I'm off all meds, go figure.
I have to say that I have the best husband ever. He seriously is so good to me, even when I don't deserve it. He does so much more and then surprises me by doing more. Right now while I have been having a hard time coming off my meds and being sick, he has come through more than ever. Even before I was sick, Jared does more than his fair share of laundry, the dishes, and even took me off litter duty for a while. WOW!! That's more than a lot of people can say for their husbands but thats just him. He always wants to help. Even this morning when I cried because none of my clothes fit because I have gained some weight:/ he didn't tell me to get over it and move on. He sat with me while I got ready and just had nothing but nice things to say!! He is just my rock and I love him so much. He is the only one who knows how to truly calm me down when I get too worked up.
So, anyways... I just thought I would share how great he is!! I'm sure some people think it's corny, but I don't care:) Have you hugged your husband today??

How can you not love this face:)

I don't think it likes me....

I would like to introduce you to someone who hates me. It started at a young age and decided to turn on me more and more. We started out ok, the occasional tiff then we progressively fought more and more. I would like to introduce you to... my stomach. I started at a young age having frequent stomach aches. It started out once a week or so, then it was nightly. I can remember have all these tests ran on me and being told by the doctors it might be in my head. If it were in my head, why would I feel it in my stomach?? Good question, right?
So, it got to the point my parents told me they would get me a cat if I could sleep through the night without my stomach hurting (hoping maybe it was in my head... I think). Well, when that didn't work, they felt bad and got me a cat anyway. That's how Emma came into my life and was around for a long 15 years. I remember my mom laying in bed with me till I fell asleep.
Finally a family friend said,"Maybe you're lactose intolerant." WOW!! It worked taking 12 pills every time I ate dairy. I didn't need a doctor to help me after all. When I was around 17 I seemed to somewhat grow out of it, with the occasional nausea.
Fast forward to when I was 23.... it's baaaaaaaaaaaack!! My enemy decided to turn on me again. The nausea the diarreha (sorry for the TMI) and the dreaded going to bed knowing at some point I would wake up feeling sick. I decided a few months ago (now at the age of 26) I couldn't take it anymore. I was sent to a gastroenterologist (sp?). So he drew blood and ran tests looking for diseases like celiac and what not and of course, no one could figure out why my stomach hates me. Then they wanted to do a colonoscopy and I said they want to stick what where?? I scheduled it twice and canceled it twice. I can't make it to that point without some good drugs making me forget about what is going on... both before, during, and after.
They finally prescribed me meds to help slow down my digestive track and believe it or not they worked while I was taking it. When I got pregnant I stopped taking it and was fine for a while. I am no longer taking it. But of course I came down with a stomach bug. Lovely!!! That was over a week ago and I still haven't been able to get over it, so sick again of the now constant nausea I went to the Dr on Monday who confused me and gave me a prescription for nausea. I am waiting for it to truly kick in and work so my stomach feels better all the time.
One day, I would love to live my life without a stomach ache, without going to bed nauseous and waking up nauseous. One would think I would be used to it. I'm not... so until then I will eat my crackers and sip my ginger ale!! Cheers to a better stomach!

I love being an Aunt!!

Let me just say that I think kids are the most wonderful things ever. I do!! BUT... I must say that my nieces and nephews are my favorite children ever. I love to spoil, play, and joke with them. When my oldest niece Emylie was born, I thought I could never love a little kid like that (who wasn't my own of course:) I couldn't get enough of her. Then when Luke was born as a premie I was just in awe of him. He was so tiny and it killed me not being able to touch and hold him. He was born a little over a month early but was a whopping 4 lbs. When I got to hold him for the first time, I thought I would break him... but I couldn't stop staring at him! Then Madison was born less than a month after Luke and she was the cutest sumo wrestler baby!! Now she is as tiny as can be with the personality of ... well you have to know her to understand:) Then Ethan was just born on February 21. He was a biggin too!!! It is scary how much he looks like my brother. I was so so so bummed I couldn't hold him for about a week because I was sick. I just wanted to see and hold him, so when I was able to it just made my day!
I was just sitting here thinking about how much they mean to me and how much I love them! They mean the world to me! I couldn't imagine not being close to them or having them live far away!! I thank God for every little thing they do and achieve! That being said, here are the cutie patooties!

Me with Luke, Emylie, and Madison

Ethan Christopher

Chemical Pregnancy

So it's almost been a month since I last posted. Since then I had a chemical pregnancy. I woke up on Sunday February 8 with horrible cramps. I thought it was normal, but the cramps turned to nausea. Then I just didn't feel well the rest of the day. On Monday, February 9 I woke up again with cramps but they never went away. I went to work but was almost doubled over in pain!! I went to the bathroom after a fire drill and there was blood. I immediately started crying because at that point I had lost my Baby Love.
I quickly explained what was going on and left school. I called the Dr and was in by noon. I was having such horrible cramps I knew it wasn't right. Jared was working out in Newark, but was able to make it home in time to take me. The Dr confirmed that the pregnancy test they took was already negative. He then did an internal ultrasound because I think he could tell I didn't want to believe him. He went on to show us my uterus was empty. Thats when it really hit us.
A chemical pregnancy is a very early miscarriage. I indeed was pregnant, but the baby didn't implant in my uterus for some reason or another.
Baby Love was only with us for a week, but I can't wait to have another one! God has plans for everything that happens. I am thankful it happened this eary on and I was able to pass it naturally. But it doesn't mean it hurt any less. The Dr told us we were able to start trying for another baby. All the "what-if" questions keep going through my head but I can't think of those, I can only look forward to the "when." I can't wait to be blessed with another baby in my belly!!
Since then I still am not taking any of my medications because who knows if this was something that could have caused it or not, but I want to play it safe. I am again extremely tired from not taking my ADD meds that help with my chronic fatigue. It makes it incredibly hard to make it through the day and I am in bed most nights by 8:30 or 9.
Jared and I have been able to move forward and know we will be blessed in the future with a precious little one. It hasn't been easy, but it is preparing us for our baby that we have and will hold a little longer, kiss a little more, and love unconditionally!! Even though it was an early miscarriage, my friends and family have been there every step of the way... more than I could have imagined!! Jared and I love them all and am so thankful for everything they have been to us~